The Midnight Hour
by letherfly
Summary: Bensidy, Post Beast's Obsession


_Post Beast's Obsession. I'm going to disregard the whole "Olivia is suspected of killing Lewis" thing because common sense and forensics say that's stupid._

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The hospital was warmer this time. Or maybe it was because they let her keep her socks on. Whatever it was, it was different yet so much the same. They took her vitals, took x-rays, and took their time bandaging her up. Again. They took and took, just like she gave and gave. It was a cycle she had become all too familiar with.

Lt. Murphy had slipped in after the last nurse left. Olivia held her hand up before he could get the words out. It wasn't time off she needed, it was time off she wanted. They exchanged sideways glances at each other, noting how the ordeal had aged them both in such a small period of time. Declan slipped her his cell number, urging her to call when she was ready. She accepted his concerns with a small smile of gratitude and nodded that she would, in time, call him.

The nurses were back with discharge papers and instructions for some of more serious cuts and bruises. The nurse mentioned a friend waiting outside with some clothes for her. She couldn't imagine who would be here with her clothes. No one had a key to her apartment except her. Brian had returned the key after moving the last of his stuff out of their apartment. Leaving it to be "her" apartment. Olivia pulled herself from her thoughts and told the nurse that whoever it was could come in.

The nurse left and soon after Amanda peeked through the doorframe, wary of what the situation might be. Olivia nodded and motioned for her to come inside.

"We got some of your clothes for you, it's the least we could do after…" she trailed off as she struggled to come up with the right words.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Olivia's voice was harder than she had intended. She realized at that moment they weren't all that different; they had each made mistakes that changed the course of both their personal and professional lives, causing the lines to become too blurred.

"I didn't want to go outside in this," she motioned to the sea foam green hospital gown with a small smile. Amanda nodded and handed her the duffle bag of clothes.

"I sent the guys home when they said you were getting discharged tonight. I'll give you a lift home when you're ready."

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It was past midnight when they pulled up in front of Olivia's building. Amanda offered to walk her inside, but Olivia had declined, knowing the real danger was gone. The sensation of freedom was familiar and yet new. She hadn't walked in though the dark without looking over her shoulder in quite some time. She took a moment to wave and watch Amanda's car drive off into the distance. The air had become warmer than she had remembered. The seasons were changing and she hadn't even noticed it.

As the elevator doors opened, she could see a figure sitting against her door. Her heart stopped for a moment when she realized it was Brian. His head shot up at the sound of the elevator doors moving. Realizing it was her, he was on his feet before she could react. They met in the middle of what was once their hallway, now just her hallway. His eyes were bloodshot and if she had to guess, it had been about three days since he last shaved.

His arms were around surrounding her and she could feel the arguments in her mind begin to blur. She leaned into him and felt something she hadn't expected; his chest was heaving in sobs that she could tell he was trying to hide.

"I don't want to grow old with anyone else Olivia, only you."

The pain in his voice and unfaltering admission of love was enough to push her over the edge and she found she couldn't hold the sobs back either. The hallway was filled with the sound of their sniffles, the sound of Olivia's hand running over his leather jacket, and the sound of Brian's chaste kisses into her hair. Olivia pulled back first, murmuring that they were causing a scene in their hallway.

"Our neighbors will just have to understand," he replied, trying to lighten the mood. She handed him the keys from her pocket and let him open the door.

Once inside, their breakup was painfully obvious. The bookshelves were half emptied, furniture was sparse in some areas, and the pictures of them had been tucked away. Olivia went straight to the kitchen and filled the kettle with water before placing it on the stove. Brian followed and sat at their breakfast bar. She placed two mugs between then and dropped a teabag into each one. The night was dragging on much longer than she had ever expected, but she couldn't go to sleep now. She leaned against the breakfast bar and met his eyes.

"I went willingly. I had to. He took my gun, my vest, my phone-"

"Liv, you don't have to tell me. Now or ever.

"I want to tell you. Some now, some later. He almost raped me in front of the kid and I just went numb. He didn't like that and instead he made me play Russian roulette. Six chambers, one bullet," her voice was soft and vulnerable.

He reached for her hands across the counter and held them tightly. The silence became comforting, not agonizing as it had been before their breakup. They had fallen out of step through various faults, but she felt them falling back together in the midnight hour. She heard him breathe deeply and slowly exhale. Here it was, it was coming.

"I was terrified for you, Olivia."

She didn't like that he had used her full name twice now. Something about that made her shiver and ache. It was too formal for what had transpired between them in the space of fifteen years. The kettle began to whistle loudly, signaling her to turn from their conversation. She shut off the stove and filled their mugs, gently pushing one towards Brian.

"I was scared I'd never see you again," she confessed. "I know you said you didn't see a future with me, but I know it was me that pushed you away. If you want a future with me, I want to work things out with you. I want to let you in. No one else, just you."

Brian rocked back in his chair and finally shrugged off his jacket. He came around the breakfast counter and reached for her hand. Their movements were slow and deliberate.

"Can I stay? I'll take the couch so there's no pressure."

"Brian Cassidy, I just saw you cry, do you really think I'm going to let you sleep on the couch?" Her tone was mocking, but sincere. It was the first time she had laughed in quite some time. Things had become so dark over the past few weeks she forgot how good it felt to smile.

He hung his head at the mention of his earlier emotions. The grip she had on his hands tightened as she pulled him closer, forcing him to look at her.

"Stay with me forever," she whispered and she snaked her arms around his back, holding on tightly. The way he held her head against his shoulder and pressed kisses into her hair told her he would stay. Their moment in the darkness solidified the resolutions she made to herself after Lewis died at the granary; her priorities were going to shift, she was going to life live for herself, not for the NYPD, and she was going to give Brian her heart, all of it.


End file.
